My first solo novel, Ein, is a fantasy novel about a
mid-caste girl whose life is turned on its ear. As Einan is reaching the end of
her religious education she is confronted with the choice of what to do with her
future. Before she can decide, Einan is mistaken for someone else and kidnapped.
Ein is a story about motherhood, love, the struggle
between good and evil, and the ongoing sexual lives of women after becoming parents.
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Genre: Fantasy. Erotic scenes.
In love with a girl from school and the man hired to
torture her, Einan is sent reeling when she thinks them dead. Destitute, she
finds herself responsible for protecting children left uncared for in the wake
of the Cedesian War.
Poor children are disappearing all over the city. While struggling to keep them safe, Ein accidentally sparks a rebellion. Will love find her again in the chaos, or will she die a martyr?
Poor children are disappearing all over the city. While struggling to keep them safe, Ein accidentally sparks a rebellion. Will love find her again in the chaos, or will she die a martyr?
Warning: Dark themes, kink.
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Excerpt
I
awoke to noise and light. Voices barked words I didn’t understand. Rough hands
forced me into a wooden chair and I was bound with ropes that cut into my skin.
I shut my mouth hard as bile rose.
Pale
men were everywhere – six...eight? I shook with fear and the residual cold from
outdoors. Cedesians. Tales of their dark magic rose to mind, unbidden. I caught
a stray fume of the drug they had used on me and I gagged. Twice I swallowed
back the foul mess, but then I lost control and vomited, mostly missing my
clothing but making a mess of the floor. Several men cried out in disgust. A
blow connected and my head snapped to the side. I whimpered my fear and pain.
My usual bravery had been left in Seraiya’s bed. Seraiya. The memory of hearing
her cry out made my heart falter.
What
did they want from me? I focused on the sea of middle-aged men with milky skin
and yellow hair. They wore the nose rings of Cedesian soldiers. All of them
regarded me with hard-eyed glares that threatened brutality. Young girls,
alone, got raped – that’s what my mother had taught me. They weren’t looking at
me like that though, were they? How would I know?
In
contrast to the frightening men, the room was cozy, with pretty carpeting and
fine décor. It made for an unlikely prison and reminded me of the home where I had
grown up, before the trading routes became complicated. A fire crackled in the
nearby hearth and a tidy kitchen was visible from where I was tied. Although
the room was obviously the living quarters of a modestly affluent family, its
conventionality made the situation more sinister. Like evil had found me in my
own house. I could imagine a tidy housewife being surprised to find us in her
sitting room.
Would
they avoid making me bleed, to spare the carpeting? I stifled a sick laugh.
The
odor of the drug swept over me again, making my stomach roil. I drifted in and
out of consciousness as the men took turns yelling at me.
Yoel,
help me.
Through
the haze I vaguely recall babbling that I didn’t understand them – that I
wasn’t trying to be difficult. The ropes hurt. The fog was lifting. I began to
imagine the ways they would kill me. I gave up trying to communicate and stared
at the candleholder that hung from the ceiling above me. Not a trace of dust. The
candles were burning low and hot wax dripped on my face and shoulders from time
to time. The noise eventually stopped. There was a commotion that sounded like
a door opening and greetings in Cedez. I knew that much of the language, at
least.
So
tired. I gathered some energy and hazarded a glance. A young man I had not yet
seen was staring down at me with amused eyes. His dark brown hair and rosy
complexion gave me hope that this one, at least, would speak proper Gutrian.
“Hello,
little one,” he drawled, smiling slowly.
Stupidly,
I was so relieved that he spoke my language, I almost smiled back at him.
Almost.
My
world burst in a blaze of stars – he’d slapped me. My face burned. When he
followed the slap with untying me, fear tightened my limbs. A cruel hand tangled
in my hair, he yanked me to my feet and dragged me through the house and down a
set of stairs.
The
candle he’d brought revealed a cellar. However, instead of food stores, there
was only a low table and chair, and an old mattress against the wall.
Before
I had a chance to gather my wits, he’d rebound my wrists and attached the rope
to a hook in the ceiling. The wide sleeves of my nightshirt pooled around my
shoulders. In consternation I realized that in this position the hem of the
shirt barely covered my bottom. I felt horribly vulnerable, nauseous and cold.
I couldn’t think of a way to get free. My arms and face hurt. A large number of
the men had crowded into the room, their cold eyes trained on me. There was a
pitiful whimpering in the room, and I clamped my jaws shut when I realized it
was me.
The
Gutrian man looked surprised I’d stopped.
Knowing
it was futile, I tugged at the ropes as though they might give way. My bare
feet were aching with the cold oozing up from dirt floor and I shifted from
foot to foot, trying to get warm. The men had stopped addressing me, but spoke
animatedly among themselves. I wished I knew what they were saying, or maybe I
was better off not knowing.
After
at least an hour, exhausted, I began to hang painfully from my arms as long as
I could to rest my legs. I let my head hang down, tangled hair obscuring my
vision. I prayed to Yoel, even knowing that there were likely many people that
needed Her more, right then. I was too tired to be unselfish. Tears leaked from
my eyes, and streamed down my cheeks to dribble onto my neck.
What
felt like hours after that, the tenor of the voices changed then quieted. A big
hand came to my hair and jerked my head back. I squeezed my eyes closed and
thought a silent prayer as I cowered from a blow...that never landed. I peeked.
The
young man who had slapped me was studying me. The others had left the room. We
were almost of an age. I avoided his eyes, looking instead at his chest. He was
a powerfully built man with a stocky frame, about a head taller than me if we
both stood flat-footed. His presence and air of command made him seem much
larger. How dare he try to intimidate a small, helpless girl? Men like this
were what was wrong with Gutria. I glared at him. His expression moved quickly
from cold detachment to bemusement. Then his impersonal mask fell back into
place and he gave his head a vague shake.
What
was I doing? Stupid. This wasn’t a game. This man could rape or murder me, or
both. I regarded him again from the veil of my lashes, shrinking back as far as
my hair in his grasped allowed.
He
asked me a question in a big, growling voice. His bright blue eyes were
piercing. Heat emanated from his body. This was the closest I’d ever been to a
strange man and I wasn’t decent. Handsome wasn’t a quality I would have wished
for in a captor. It was confusing. One often thought of evil as being ugly.
Beautiful evil was almost an affront to every story I’d been told as a child. I
could tell he was used to menacing people. I tried to ignore the stirring of
arousal – what was wrong with me? There was no saying what he might do. We were
alone.
I
shivered.
“I
don’t understand you,” I whispered.